reflections...29 April 2009

Baby Eliza is two and half months old now... i m ending my maternity leave at the end of May. one more month to go. We had appeal for dear's mother's long term visit pass and it was unsuccessful. We had to make a decision fast. Is my mother going to quit from work? OR... we appeal and appeal and again and again until approved??

Dear is very upset about the unsuccessful application. He felt angry and lost. His wish for his mother to be here to look after our baby is gone. Our plan failed.

At the beginning, before i gave birth, i was already at the mood of "decided" and "ok". i finally convinced myself to accept the fact and broadened my mind to welcome his mother to stay with us, to look after our baby Eliza. I did not think much about the long term pass appication. It was such simple me that i did not think that she needed something like that. And so i din give much thought to the visit pass.

Now that i heard difficult applications around us, years and years of appeal going on and on for other people out there. I was thinking, please, who are we, why should our application be approved. We can be considered "well-to-do" as the previous one officer mentioned to us that we could jolly well get a maid since the pass is not approved. We can't say no becos is too subjective. We din want not becos we cannot afford, becos we din like it! Wat can this reason be acceptable isn't it? So, please, i wanted to tell dear to face the fact. My mother's going to take the task, quit her job and be our baby Eliza's babysitter!

Suddenly, all's changed. We got everything changed because his mother was coming to stay with us. We got our lives adjusted to accomodate her presence. Even financially, i thought i was going "shiok"!! cos i don need to pay for anything for a babysitter! hahah.... well.... but suddenly, all these changed overnight. After we got our second letter of unsuccessful application, i quickly made a decision. I guess it's time my mum quit her job. It sounds to my hubby that i am instead more happier than his mum coming on receiving such a letter. It sounds like i hope she can't make it here. Well... but i wonder does he know that this plan B instead result me having to fork out even so much more savings for mum and dad? Initial's more savings has become a big hole in my pocket every month from now.

I know i can't sound very happy and glad, cos that will definitely let him think i wished for! I wish this final plan is final. I guess i can now rest my worries for baby Eliza is with MY mother, in my mum's expert hands. Although there are further adjustments to our lives and lifestyle again, but i guess after a year from now or less, hopefully we can gradually get back to our not-so-kanjiong lifestyle again, meaning the rushing on and off from work, facing cranky baby and the visits and checks to clinics and vaccinations, picking up solids.... all the different phase of the growth of Eliza that will be coming our way, again, like what we've been through before... for kdenn....

Now that i have to give my most to my parents, i guess i will have more stories to tell, less time for shopping, no affordability to shop anyway, less thought for wishes and pressies, less urge for shopping and dining, will only think of working hard, harder, chant more for a better work environment, improving work scope, enjoy my work, live the busy life of busy mummy!! Hope i can be proud and happy mum, have memories to look back after several years from now... by then i shall gradually pick up my pamper and luxury again :)

one more month

one more month before i start work...
one more month before my maternity leave ends...
one more month before i enter 30!!!!
Gosh.... Kim is 30 years old.... eeeeeeeeeee!!!
like very old leh....!!!
Well... my heart stays in 25 forever hahaha!!

What do i expect after i turn 30?
After i had finally enshrined my own gohonzon, i feel a strong sense of satisfaction, protection and urge to strive further, in my faith and daily life. I guess after i m 30, it's time i really get down to think farther, plan further and save more. Yes, save more for a better tomorrow and of course, not forgetting to pamper myself every season once a while!

Guess it's really time i do up my hair, start growing them back, i want my length back!!! and... get a good eyecheck and have a pair of new specs made soon!!
Probably i should wait to have a good meal with my dear again, and let's see... what should i ask for for my birthday present this time neh??? *-)... hmmmm....

shopping list check

Have gotten the OSIM U-PURE quite nice hehehe... cost $155... wonder if there's discount sometime later....? ... then i go... "erh..."!
Have also managed to get a comfortable simple swivel chair from ikea... for $98, quite a reasonable price for simple comfort at home... synthetic leather though.. but surprisingly, not hot when i sit for long, it is still comfortable for a reasonable time :)
Also, finally padlocked our home with a practically safe lock hehe... got the DURO one from DIY shop, which i had been eyeing on it all these months since we gotten our keys to this home. Just that, we din manage to measure the allowance properly... and also.... of course pricing lor hehehe... ok la... hubby finally said yes to this lock and we finally can ease our worries for a safer security at home now. :)
i guess now i m left with the entertainment part which is still consider a "want", so still can be kept pending till we can afford....and also the shelving for the storeroom... haiiii... look into the storeroom and i always ask.... WHEN???

yet another wish(es)

Again, i have not achieved everything on the list (previous shopping list), i have now even more things coming on my mind.. STILL pending... as usual.... will take me forever to achieve... haiii... need to

CUT MY HAIR (cannot find the pic i wan to show neh!!) but don know which hairstyle i should do. Perhaps the news reporter recent hairstyles are latest and hip something like what Channel 8 newsreporter has "Dong Shu Hua" hairstyle i quite like leh! JUst nice, around my length, the way her hair was trimmed is just what i can do at the salon! hahah.... but i guess i need to look up and print out to show the hairdresser... but hor... WHICH hairdresser to go to har?? i don like to go Jean Yip they slaughter u to the max! scary! ban!... ok probably i will go and try the one at Hougang Mall or the one that my previous colleague Adeline recommended (her perfect hairdresser)!! ... at Ang Mo Kio... not bad la... ok la.. hehehe user GPS to find the location and drive there lor hahaha...

and MAKE NEW GLASSES as i can't really see clearly already. Use old frames but change lens? thought of it, but the package i saw is so more worth to change the whole thing, than to keep the old frame and save jus about $50 or so... coz i go to the "Frames & Lens" shop at Tiong Bahru Plaza, beside the Veeko boutique, they are friendly and reasonable price ($198 for a frame and transition lens) i just love it,.. already made 2 times with them before and i still have positive comments about them. :)

and i guess as for the water purifier, i found this new product of OSIM the OSIM uPure... seems good... instead of the previous product...

Shopping List

Got several things to get for the house, hopefully before my maternity leave ends... here's some significantly important ones which i can remember now... in the order of importance:-

• OSIM water purifier for the kitchen as requested by my MIL and hubby
  but i prefer to get the Alkaline Water Ionizer which is more effective, if we look at the reason why we getting a water filter! isn't it? but i still don know where i can buy this.... anyone??
  
  


• Shelving for the storeroom so i can keep my things organized



• A swivel chair at home so i can sit comfortably, don hurt my back, and enjoy working on my home-work. ;)




• Entertainment: BMB Speakers and bring over my amplifier to setup for a karaoke-ready environment
  

Super satisfied....

Thank you darling, finally i have my beloved gadget to spend time with heeheehee... and to make me busy with everyday! Hahaha... darling din like the PDA and i had the fortune to own it YESH! keke... not bad leh! and my brother helped me to buy this labtop at a super good deal at the IT show in early March 2009... now i can keep in touch with my colleagues and friends while i am away from mum's house and at my own home, during maternity leave...

This is my new labtop ;) nice glossy black design...so far so good ;)

My new mobile phone... Samsung OMNIA (pda) and finally i get rid of my P1i liao... though i liked it v much andhas been very suitable for me...

The Cushion Just Din Burst - 37th Week

It's my 37th week, my last 2 days at work. Did alot of walking, so many pains, walking up the mountainous roads on campus, still, Eliza has not burst to birth! haha... Thought i should have a last shot before i go flat again hahaha... din realise i looked like i had a cushion under my tshirt! Does it look round enough to be convinced it's a girl!???

Final Trimester. Awaiting Arrival of Eliza.

36 Weeks. Eliza's head went UP again after the scan was done at last checkup. Cesarean is planned. 18 February 2009 will be the day.

Looking ahead. Thoughts came to my mind. It will be a great change after next week. Another member joins the family to make up perfect 4. Is kdenn going to accept Eliza as sibling dearest sister of his? Is he loosing his proud king majesty's moments and properties? Is he loosing love from his dearest parents? Will mummy lost him further as time goes by? Suddenly i felt how dear he is to me, i cannot afford to lost the track with him. I want him to be everything, have everything and learn and develop in the best that life should be. He is the smartest in my eyes, the one with wisdom and will in everything, the most sensible senses i ever can imagine. Even though he may be slow in certain developments, but he is unique in many areas i can see. I know i need to give more time to nourish another baby for the time being, but i cannot afford to let loose kdenn's growth too. I know it's gonna be double hard double struggle after next week. I need to build up my health again. So that i do not loose track to both children of mine. Counting the blessings, i have a supporting husband, though i need to remind him of the senses in life and bring his life condition UP UP UP at most times of life. Now i am going to have Eliza and Kdenn to build up and develop them to unique individuals of the future. I know that i have to sacrifice for time and efforts so that i can see the fruits of labour in 10 years time, 20 years and more.

I must strive on, so that i can enjoy the fruits 20years from now, which i will be 50 by then. Thoughts will be with darling then. Enjoying the fruits in 20yrs time with darling, seeing Kdenn and Eliza grow up to blend with the society to build their own future and life. They must be independent by then, create their own future, fight for their own dreams, achieve their own fruits and i shall not be bothered much by them, and continue my path of life. That will be it.

For now, back to time, chant chant chant! Eliza to come healthily, beautifully and perfect for mummy and daddy!

32 weeks.

Had constipation. Could not open bowels for a week. Went to the clinic. Had a pump to open bowels.... successfully. Surprisingly, was admitted because of too much contractions. To me, the baby was merely kicking, rolling vigorously, din know it was part of contractions. Doctor gave two jabs to strengthen the baby's lungs, incase there is labour pain for delivery. Admitted for 2 days. Found out i had urinary infection too! Given capsules to reduce the contractions. Given lactus to open bowels smoothly. Test my urine 3 times!! gosh... Keep generating the chart displaying bb's heartbeat and contractions. So fast her heartbeat: over 180 whenever she's rolling or moving. So many contractions. BUT but but... no pain. no labour pain. No bleeding. fortunately.
Now back home discharged. Got to rest rest rest. 4 weeks more before anything like delivery can happen. Have to keep low. Continue medications. Got to finish up getting ready all the essentials. And then be ready for arrival of Eliza Chen Ying Ern, anytime!!!
Cheers!

Buddhahood at home

Finally got the right butsudan that matches exactly as the place for the Gohonzon.

Finally got you! Went all over whole island, waiting and searching and looking, finally... the right kind of shelving, as i desired, the right size as it can fit in our small home, in the right colour that goes well with the top Gohonzon home we bought for!!! Next, will be the table accessories to go with the chanting procedures.... the gong, and the water holder will be the essential... targeted to come after the Performance Bonus.... hopefully with abundance of daimoku, we will be able to get good returns, build the place up for chanting, and bring up the lifeforce of all at home, and let the baby arriving grow happily, healthily and ..... let the power of gohonzon spread to my m-i-l ;)