inspiration for namcard design needed!!

i need inspiration for a new namecard design... for somebody who is ver important to me, somebody whom i do not want to disappoint, somebody whom i owe my gratitude to.... i need inspiration for his perfect eyes.... high hopes and tastes of perfection.... so hard lor!!! haiii.... sighs... so difficult leh...!!!

first exam experience

i had my first examination experience since after O levels.... in november this year.... in poly, i was in design course and thus there was no written examinations. So, for the first time, i had examinations NOT in school uniforms. I was feeling weird when i thought the day before the first paper, that what should i wear to the examination hall! Because i wonder if it was going to be air-conditioned, and wondered if i would be chased out if i go in bermudas and slip-ins hahahaa.... well, i din realise the times have changed. the authorities sure cannot help it where kids nowadays go to tertiary schools in hot shorts and slippers!!! ---i always wonder: AREN'T they COOOOLD!!!???? sigh....

i was so ready for my first paper - BUS101:Organisational Behaviour ---and i was so disappointed. because i could not finish all the questions. I already scribbled through and yet i did not manage to finish all the questions in time!! I could not get the answers out from my mind at the nervous and frightening exam moment!!! I needed to cool down. but there was no time to THINK!!!

So after the first experience, i know that i have NO TIME to think for the next two papers. no use studying so hard la.... because it all depends on how fast information come to my mind to scribble the answers through!!! .... Eventually, guess after the first ever exciting experience, i manage to finish my second paper on time -- and managed to even redo a question instead!! -- and the last paper on Quantitative Methods, management was not as difficult as OB, and the last paper was much better than first two.

Hopefully, i really wish i could pass all the papers ---- now no even need to think about flygin colours!!! :*( really hard!~!!! .... pass can already....
And i was glad, after the challenges and struggles i had for the Academic Writing assignment at the beginning about the submission, i managed to score 79 for my final assignment. I m really happy and proud of myself hahahah :P

I realised many things that we wish for or have high hopes on, it turns out to be the other way..... why!!??? i thought i will score the highest or do best in OB, instead i think i will be getting better results for the worst subject i m weakest in... QM!!!

Let's see....

哥哥永远在我心...

曾经是好同事，他好像哥哥疼我关心我。
我们是设计师...一起工作...
五年前因为得了癌症，回了马国，和家人孩子一起度过。
没想到已经过了那么久...上个星期四突然收到消息，他离开了...

他送我的二十一岁生日礼物，手链一直我都戴在身上365天没有离开过我。
没想到，今年我脱下了，收着而没有戴着了，他的病情恶化了...
结果离开了...

哥哥永远在我心...
你几时来看我？ :(

so near and yet so far...

For once i feel somebody so close to my heart, and want to befriend with, with lots of envy and respect for. For once i feel the same thing to only one person. And for such a long time fate has never brought us any closer. Was there a waiting all these while? Was there been a quiet wait? Is it worth the wait? Will i get to be her friend someday in the years to come? Finally i was able to express these thoughts to her last night. I feel a bit at ease. Even though destiny is what is going to be, i have no regrets. Like i said to her, it takes two hands to clap. It takes both hearts to last too! All i can feel is that she is somebody i want to be with, talk to, shopping mate, dining friend, chatter partner, family sharing.... but always so near to me and yet so far to get close to her heart :)

Perhaps one day down the years when i get myself there, almost there, to the same level as her, in terms of lifestyle, standard of living, spending power level, achievement level.... perhaps there is chance for us to tag together! But as i move forward, she is advancing too! Or... perhaps, i am forever only a shadow behind her :).....

Painful deepful thoughts

Somebody comes to me and gives me memories and then takes the train off and leaves, what is left behind are just memories and doubts. Thoughts that can never be answered. Regrets that can never be atoned. What to do if you have words to say? No need to say anymore. Swallow it into your stomach. Say it to your heart. Say sorry to your heart. Keep remembering what happened and was given to you. What the objective of the blessing was. What do you gain from it at the end? Do you go forward with it? Yes, for how long can you take it? For how long can you remember every single little thing that happened that you felt was the blessing you experienced in your life... Even though you may not be able to forget, but where do all the thankful words of gratitude and regrets go to.... Can he or she ever hear it again? What do you call this painful thought and deepfelt memories....

The Corporate Ladder Up...

The current me in the midst of climbing many mountains, overcoming hurdles of challenges, in the studies, work and family.

With memories not wanting to let go

With happiness to share

With challenges to conquer

With love to give

With compromise to seek

With understanding to each other

With dreams to fulfill....

苏有朋~擦肩而过

亲手摧毁生命中最珍贵的友情，人生从此有多少遗憾，生命中又有多少期盼...
当一切擦肩而过的时候，你又何尝握紧那双手，好好珍藏每一刻，留下动人的传说...

总是在转身以后,才发现梦已远走
熟悉依旧却隔着遥远的距离
追逐里萍水相逢随青春停停走走
你我的梦随着人潮擦肩而过

天亮的时候,我的心还在梦游
未曾结束昨夜深情的回眸
我终于明白,其实你我都想拥有
在青春路上相互回眸的那一刻

爱情擦肩而过的时候,也曾想要珍惜那悸动
只是握不住彼此不同方向的手
你我擦肩而过的时候,也曾留下动人的传说
是否还能够为我等待为你停留

need a break ~ a brain wash in exact

i wish i can go for a long break. i wish my brain can be washed.... i wish to wash off my pain inside.... sometimes i wish i m not an emotional human. Why can't i be just a metal heart with no feelings? then i will not need to suffer so much pain and aches again and again.

Emo humans are so contradicting. Want to erase certain parts of your memory, but on the other hand can't bear to let it go. Just don wan to let it go. why!? Or is it just me myself!?? Why why why... There is always a home for me i know. No matter where we go, the best place is always your home, your love ones, who are always there for you, and belong to you. These should make one be contented in life....

busy friday to my birthday.... what a 31!!

looking at my long shopping list for tomorrow at Giant. It's a weekly marketing. This time it's for whole week's cooking. Parents are going on 2 weeks holiday. Thus i will be housewife babysitter for 2 weeks. Not able to work then. Maybe hard via remote too...

Considering it's my day soon, and i reconsider what i m going through at this moment now. Dear came back with a runny nose... on a promising friday evening. Sneezing away, covering himself with a mask, stucking his noseholes with crush of tissue papers..... what more can i ask for!! I got to resend some working files for the UM-NUS Golf Souvenir Scrapbook..... while the server is getting slower and slower on this peak friday evening when many are going online....

I got to settle the icecream cake from the big gigantic cake box occupying too much of my little fridge space.... thus spent sometime removing it from the plate and scrapping them into another container that can fit into the freezer. At the same time, keep sending uploading my big big files for the other designer to work on my files....

While all hands are busy, my heart is thinking wild about my birthday present from my colleagues today - a DKNY watch!!! Gorgeous!! but got to resize it at the watch shop first. So this's 2nd after i received a icecream birthday cake last night. I know that dear is trying his best to spend time with me on monday by taking his time off to be with me. Although there is nothing interesting about the programme (as it's not fixed at all) but i m glad enough he can be with me.... i mean, what more can i ask for from a workaholic devoted staff like HIM!!! LOLs... at least, i can get to hold his hands when i walk down the streets on monday.... to anywhere i don mind!! at least i feel loved hehehe....

I guess, with Kdenn's singing birthday song for me, enjoying my icecream cake, hugging me and tell me he is good boy, and gorgeous present from colleagues' efforts, i should be contented enough. But why must i be on the other way blessed with more housework??? becos dear falls sick, i have to now sleep with 2 kids alone, and run the housework by myself.... and be kindest enough to let dear sleep early...... let his nose rest......

I guess i m also lucky and fortunate enough. I found another person protecting me from behind. At this age of 31, how can i be so attractive still!??? i was amazed and shocked by the words he could say to me. Admiring me as a great woman of wisdom. That's how he portrayed his feelings and impression of me. For this time, i was affected. i m really affected.

I guess i am somehow not alone this lifetime. No matter how sad and how down i may go, from now on, i know, there are a few of them, always standing by me. They give me hope, strength, courage and love. I guess my life shall be truly valued, with studies coming up, more work achievements and projects to impress, more jobs to come to me for my freelance, and showering more love to friends and family.... a tie and connection which is so strong that will never break. That's how i feel now... i love it. i like it. i m contented with it. satisfaction is it.

Grand number is 31

i received a surprise birthday present from a special friend tonight. I went downstairs and collect it, and to my surprise it was a icecream cake from Swensons. Wasn't this my last 2 year's birthday wish? I had something similar from Uncle Eric, but in real scooped ice-cream form in a plate, the photo used as my main headbar on my blog here... The cake came and fill up 75% of my freezer liao :S probably, it's time to upgrade to a bigger refrigerator huh!!!??? ....

When Kdenn saw my birthday cake, he was overjoyed. He sang a birthday song for mummy, asked to blow my candles and said to mummy, "我是你的乖孩子！" .... i was amazed and stunned!! for the first time....... hahhahahaha

Although i do not really fancy strawberry flavour, but i m pleased to have my birthday wish answered.... :) yummy.... thank u Uncle William ;)