A New Beginning

This is the 4th day of my new job.  Today is emotional.  I remember i was feeling excited about starting my new job soon ... and that was since early last week. I was afraid of the new challenges that i was going to face. I had many flashing thoughts throughout the day, all the time. I was curious what are the expectations of my new boss. I was curious how i would perform in the new scope, with the new environment, new colleagues and new cubicle.

Finally all started. I am starting to settle down at my new cubicle. I began to think that the boss is not as demanding of me as i expected. I start to feel lost. I think he do not really need me to do so much extreme for him. I think he wants to remain independent. I think i should ask him too much questions. I guess he will prefer me to do my work rather than serving him like those professors that we face in the academic industry.

I felt bad today because i think i frightened him last night with my emotional feedbacks on my problems that i am facing. I think he is not used to being offered with things that are too personal... i think he got a shock and somehow i feel the door was shit at me now. i dare not talk to him today. i m living in the shadows of yesterday. why why why. i think i start to feel his culture of working and style of working in here.  The ladies here are not how we share things and stories about us over at the university. i start to feel lonely again.

I will learn to be independent. This is only a workplace. What am i expecting besides my regular salary to survive!??
I remember last night he mentioned to me that this is but a job and we need to make a living so that we get a life! so after we get the money, after work hours is the time we create our lives (life) !!
That does strike me yeah...
i guess from this incident, i will not prob too much about being friends with him anymore.
the line seems clear now. seems like i will have nothing much to bother me at least for.... several months until i am being briefed for more expectations.
but apart from these cautious actions, i will show that i am happy always, to be with him, with this new place and will strive to show my best....