> mobile phone gadget... think i always change handphones average yearly or 2, love music, sounds etc... so entertain myself with more such stuffs...but ...nuh...not really into girly things...
> sometimes i wonder: I hardly want to spend in manicure or pedi, though it is the norm for ladies now, I don really craze for shopping for shoes, bags or clothes or accessories, earrings, or even diamonds, unless i need something necessary... and so, why isn't he glad enough!??
> I seldom spend time with precious friends, but only rush back home to run the chores and such. I thought i am paying debt this lifetime... what am i doing who am i and why am i born here?!!! For sure, I AM NOT MAID!! All I want is for loved ones around me to be happy and fortunate, and showered with the best things in life that i can give them. I never expect flowers and diamonds from him, but i long for someone (especially the one closest to me) to understand what i have done and hopefully bless me good things in return... All i expected was to just extract a few hours to spend with my friends, meaningfully, to let them know that i still care and that i still treasure their friendship, very much. All that i wanted was a little more love of appreciation, that i have done so much....
> Now i know. No matter how much you have done, it is always NOT ENOUGH. Even if i have to breathe through my last breath with all the utmost efforts i wanna put in, nobody will ever say i have done enough. So why bother so much! Pamper myself, come on!! I know what i have done right, what i have done enough, and what more than enough. So, with the right opportunity at some little points in life, JUST DO IT! Go ahead and do things i feel i should lor!! Since... nobody appreciates my hard work GREATLY, and since i worked so hard...like a maid!! Why do i not deserve some happiness!! Unless i m DEAD, nobody will realise my greatness lor!!! GOODNESS!!!...
> Sometimes, u do your best to let your love ones have the better part, better share of things, but ....what do you get?? sufferings, and more sufferings... bad health, deteriorating health... dark eye rings (not enough sleepsss), boring clothes, simple lifestyle, etc... I feel like... they are STILL asking for more!! They din get contented!!... and, i have been suffering for so long, why should i not deserve some personal hours for me myself and I? hahhaaa...
> Therefore, i have decided that i will do all my best to make up for everything that i can, and therefore also expected to be treated the same way (to myself). And i should be learning to give the same fairness treatment to pple around me, not to have high expectations from them... and... in other words, LET THEM GO! hahhaa.... i think i m used to sticking hard or dependent .... for love and care... yeah, i m a person who cannot lost love, needs love and care and thoughtfulness... haiii.... too sensitive to feelings... how? Can't bear to see pple around me not happy.... will try my best to extend my helping ARMS hahhaa.... and ...this's what i get??
