Why do we fall into the Love trap and be the man's slave for life?
Too late to realise this line.
It's not that we are not willing to fall into the trap.
It's how we will be appreciated even if we have to become the slave for life.
Do we deserve being treated like a fool?
When we talk to them during times of relationship, they treat it as sweet talk, sweetie's talking etc... But after we get married, when we talk, it is direct treatment as "nag". We can't even talk anymore. We can't change them anymore. No advice allowed. No requests allowed. We just do our own businesses. We just do what we are supposed to. Whatever they do, we clear the backend junk DISCREETLY. cannot say NO. cannot complain. cannot say WRONG. cannot ask for improvement. Whatever they NOT do, we will have to do it willingly and quietly. Whatever they do correctly, or whatever they've helped, we MUST say thank you. We must bear all. What are we?
Yes, slaves. Slaves when they choose not to be bothered. Wife when they present you to others. Mother when they need their kids to call upon. Other than that, we are just like a bomb which is forced to delay explosion as long as we can. They can slam, they can scold, they can throw, they can shout, they can beat. But we woman choose to keep. Because we have to protect the young ones around. We have to continue to uphold the greatness of woman- as a mother. We have to cover the unpleasantness of the situation/scenario so that the kids do not get confused and lost. We have to continue to let the lives of the children keep going, positively.
Yes, we shall keep silent. We shall bear all the foolish acts man can be insensible of doing. We shall be the one to give in and take all the sacrifices, for the children. We shall grow old, turn ugly, and give all we can to the goodness of our children. We shall be the backup and firm ground for the children to look upon to, to lean on, and to depend on.... until they are independent enough and be wise on their own. We live on with peers' support, encouraged by friends we treasure, buddies we lean on, elders we trust and share. Even at times we feel like we are at the peak, life will still go on, because they are there. Until many years will go by... we shall then be old and ugly, but proud and free. Looking into the mirror, it's wrinkles and freckles. Out of the house, it's looking for wild plans.
Is this why woman is the great man?
Am i the great man?
Are u the great man?
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Life's hard.
Life's hard. So hard.
I feel so badly.
...need to be treated with more patience, understanding, trust, initiative, support, love, kindness and encouragement. NOT impatience, frustrations, anger, foolishness, distrust, selfishness and insensibility.
I feel so badly.
...need to be treated with more patience, understanding, trust, initiative, support, love, kindness and encouragement. NOT impatience, frustrations, anger, foolishness, distrust, selfishness and insensibility.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Quotes for Thought
Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain - and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving. A great man shows his greatness, by the way he treats little men.
Books read in 2010
Wish to compile the books that i have read in 2010 here...
1. BUDDHISM-Plain and Simple by Steve Hagen (Rating: 9.5/10) January
(Super good book, highly recommended!)
2. What the Buddha Taught by Walpola Rahula (Rating 6.8/10) February
3. ETHICS for International Business by John M.Kline
4. The Dhammapada by Narada (interest Rating 6/10) March
5. A Dialogue Between East and West by Daisaku Ikeda (interest rating 6/10) March
6. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie (interest Rating 7/10) March-April
7. Contract Law - Layman's Guide by Catherine Tay & Tang See Chim March 2010
8. Marketing Management(Asian Perspective) by Philip Kotler (Rating 8/10) April 2010
1. BUDDHISM-Plain and Simple by Steve Hagen (Rating: 9.5/10) January
(Super good book, highly recommended!)
2. What the Buddha Taught by Walpola Rahula (Rating 6.8/10) February
3. ETHICS for International Business by John M.Kline
4. The Dhammapada by Narada (interest Rating 6/10) March
5. A Dialogue Between East and West by Daisaku Ikeda (interest rating 6/10) March
6. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie (interest Rating 7/10) March-April
7. Contract Law - Layman's Guide by Catherine Tay & Tang See Chim March 2010
8. Marketing Management(Asian Perspective) by Philip Kotler (Rating 8/10) April 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
First Book completed
I finished my first book for 2010 today. That was to fit into my resolutions set at the start of this year - 2010. I wanted to read more books. I wanted to keep my language improving or at least keep up my writing and spoken english. Yes, probably to start off with english yeah.
Uncle Eric gave me a few books and particularly 2 new books when we met the last time at his place. Suddenly the passion to read just came to me 2 weeks ago and without fail, i read on and on everyday on this book - Buddhism Plain and Simple.
I guess most likely the topic was to my interest and something i was already been taught since young - fundamentals in buddhist practice.
It's hard for me to get on with a book... but this one did.
I learn as i read from the content: The eightfold paths of buddhism: Right Speech, Right Intention, Right Livelihood, Right Effort, Right View, Right Action, Right mindfulness, Right Meditation. The whole process is a practice. It all lies in the right intention and the rest comes in flow. It's reality we need to face and think about. Reality is where we are and what we are; The Relative and Absolute Truths. It was all a revision for me to revitalise and start my challenging year ahead. .... my journey to enlightenment.
I completed it today. so happy. heehee.....
time to get on with the next book!!
Monday, December 21, 2009
tough year
when can i ask for something that i want, something that i like, when i feel i like to?
Must i live in tight pockets everyday for ever?
Why can't i even save my own money when i thought i deserve it?
Why can't i say "no" in order to save my own earnings?
Do i deserve the turn-off when i say "no"?
Haven't i been a good enough wife to deserve protecting that little bit of savings for the next raining day?
i feel so sad.... cos i thought i have given every thing i could, and i am not appreciated just because i did not want to share my extra little savings... for a not-very-important bill which even if i give up my little savings, it doesn't help much!
How could i have deserve these!!!
...despite of whatever that is happening to the worsen global warming, or anything under the sun, at home and or myself, i want to list my resolutions to make a difference in 2010 here:-
Must i live in tight pockets everyday for ever?
Why can't i even save my own money when i thought i deserve it?
Why can't i say "no" in order to save my own earnings?
Do i deserve the turn-off when i say "no"?
Haven't i been a good enough wife to deserve protecting that little bit of savings for the next raining day?
i feel so sad.... cos i thought i have given every thing i could, and i am not appreciated just because i did not want to share my extra little savings... for a not-very-important bill which even if i give up my little savings, it doesn't help much!
How could i have deserve these!!!
...despite of whatever that is happening to the worsen global warming, or anything under the sun, at home and or myself, i want to list my resolutions to make a difference in 2010 here:-
- to read at least 1 book a month that widens my language and knowledge and philosophy and expand my perspective in life
- to see life in a wider perspective, forgive and understand pple around me and the environment so as to be a person/lady with greatness, compassion and uniqueness.
- to be ready for further studies, overcome struggles of time management for family, work and study, through chanting and buddha wisdom.
- to save more $$, alot alot, and spend only wisely for the better of future when Kdenn goes to primary school - which i may have to go jobless.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Fighting with "Obstacles & Devils" (Sansho Shima)
Obstacles and Devils (Sansho Shima)
The three obstacles and four devils is a literal translation of the Japanese term sansho shima. This is a traditional classification of the types of difficulties and obstacles we encounter when we practise Buddhism. Obstacles usually refers to external problems we may meet, whereas devils refers to our own innermost negative tendencies, or the workings of life's innate deluded nature.
Obstacles are anything that obstructs our practice of faith, whereas devils are self-destructive and destroy the quality of life itself.
Once we start practising we soon realize that constant effort is necessary to maintain a consistent practice; the same is true of attaining the supreme life-condition of Buddhahood. Even the difficulty of believing we can manifest this condition, or that everyone has it, can in itself be an obstacle. In 'Letter to Misawa', Nichiren Daishonin writes, "Even if you should manage to overcome the first six (of the three obstacles and four devils), if you are defeated by the seventh, you will not be able to become a Buddha".(MW-V3 p.252, WND p.894)
It is important, therefore, to recognize sansho shima and overcome it. The support of people who are more experienced in practicing Buddhism is often very helpful in enabling us to identify and overcome this negativity, as President Ikeda points out:
The human mind wavers and changes from moment to moment. Over time, one experiences confusion even regarding things that one has previously decided on. This is an unchanging aspect of life. For precisely this reason, guidance and encouragement in the correct practice of faith are very important.
(Buddhism in Action, Vol.6, p.8)
Nichiren Daishonin wrote: "Where it not for these (obstacles), there would be no way of knowing that this is the true teaching" (MW-V1, p.145, WND p.501).It is precisely because the Mystic Law is a great positive force that the negativity inherent within us and our environment resists our attempts to strengthen it through our practice. If chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo had no power to change karma or draw out our Buddha nature, no one would experience any difficulty in practising it!
It is at a crucial time that obstacles or devils are most likely to appear. That is why the Daishonin emphasizes that we should neither fear them nor give in to them.
In the second of his letters to the Ikegami brothers, 'The Three Obstacles and Four Devils', he says:
There is definitely something extraordinary in the ebb and flow of the tide, the rising and setting of the moon, and the way in which summer, autumn, winter and spring give way to each other. Something uncommon also occurs when an ordinary person attains Buddhahood. At such times, the three obstacles and four devils will invariably appear, and the wise will rejoice while the foolish will retreat. (MW-V2 p.288, WND p.637)
The important thing is to realize that when difficulties appear, they present an opportunity to make renewed efforts in our practice so that we are able to grow further and show proof of the power of Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. Obstacles and devils are a natural function of our practice and we should not be afraid of them - as our practice and faith deepens, we come to recognize the form our own particular demons take, tailor-made for each of us, so that we can continue to challenge ourselves in our quest to become really great human beings.
The three obstacles are:
1. Earthly desires (bonno-sho), or obstacles arising from the three poisons of greed, anger and stupidity.
2. Karma (go-sho), or obstacles due to karma created by committing any of the five cardinal sins or ten evil acts (this category is also interpreted as opposition from one's partner or children).
3. Retribution (ho-sho), or obstacles due to painful retribution for actions in the three evil paths (Hell, Hunger and Animality). This category also indicates obstacles caused by one's sovereign, parents or other persons who carry some sort of secular authority.
The four devils are the hindrance of:
1. The five components (on-ma), that is, those hindrances caused by one's physical and mental functions.
2. Earthly desires (bonno-ma), or illusions arising from the three poisons.
3. Death (shima), because the fear and suffering that death entails, whether our own or someone else's can shake our faith and obstruct our practice of Buddhism, especially if death seems untimely.
4. The Devil of the Sixth Heaven (tenji-ma). This is regarded as the most serious hindrance; in Indian cosmology this king of devils represents the fundamental darkness inherent in life itself. This can assume any number of forms to obstruct believers and is often said to take the form of persecution by those in power. It is the most powerful of all the negative forces, and takes the form most likely to trouble us or cause us to suffer from doubt or illusion.
The three obstacles and four devils is a literal translation of the Japanese term sansho shima. This is a traditional classification of the types of difficulties and obstacles we encounter when we practise Buddhism. Obstacles usually refers to external problems we may meet, whereas devils refers to our own innermost negative tendencies, or the workings of life's innate deluded nature.
Obstacles are anything that obstructs our practice of faith, whereas devils are self-destructive and destroy the quality of life itself.
Once we start practising we soon realize that constant effort is necessary to maintain a consistent practice; the same is true of attaining the supreme life-condition of Buddhahood. Even the difficulty of believing we can manifest this condition, or that everyone has it, can in itself be an obstacle. In 'Letter to Misawa', Nichiren Daishonin writes, "Even if you should manage to overcome the first six (of the three obstacles and four devils), if you are defeated by the seventh, you will not be able to become a Buddha".(MW-V3 p.252, WND p.894)
It is important, therefore, to recognize sansho shima and overcome it. The support of people who are more experienced in practicing Buddhism is often very helpful in enabling us to identify and overcome this negativity, as President Ikeda points out:
The human mind wavers and changes from moment to moment. Over time, one experiences confusion even regarding things that one has previously decided on. This is an unchanging aspect of life. For precisely this reason, guidance and encouragement in the correct practice of faith are very important.
(Buddhism in Action, Vol.6, p.8)
Nichiren Daishonin wrote: "Where it not for these (obstacles), there would be no way of knowing that this is the true teaching" (MW-V1, p.145, WND p.501).It is precisely because the Mystic Law is a great positive force that the negativity inherent within us and our environment resists our attempts to strengthen it through our practice. If chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo had no power to change karma or draw out our Buddha nature, no one would experience any difficulty in practising it!
It is at a crucial time that obstacles or devils are most likely to appear. That is why the Daishonin emphasizes that we should neither fear them nor give in to them.
In the second of his letters to the Ikegami brothers, 'The Three Obstacles and Four Devils', he says:
There is definitely something extraordinary in the ebb and flow of the tide, the rising and setting of the moon, and the way in which summer, autumn, winter and spring give way to each other. Something uncommon also occurs when an ordinary person attains Buddhahood. At such times, the three obstacles and four devils will invariably appear, and the wise will rejoice while the foolish will retreat. (MW-V2 p.288, WND p.637)
The important thing is to realize that when difficulties appear, they present an opportunity to make renewed efforts in our practice so that we are able to grow further and show proof of the power of Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. Obstacles and devils are a natural function of our practice and we should not be afraid of them - as our practice and faith deepens, we come to recognize the form our own particular demons take, tailor-made for each of us, so that we can continue to challenge ourselves in our quest to become really great human beings.
The three obstacles are:
1. Earthly desires (bonno-sho), or obstacles arising from the three poisons of greed, anger and stupidity.
2. Karma (go-sho), or obstacles due to karma created by committing any of the five cardinal sins or ten evil acts (this category is also interpreted as opposition from one's partner or children).
3. Retribution (ho-sho), or obstacles due to painful retribution for actions in the three evil paths (Hell, Hunger and Animality). This category also indicates obstacles caused by one's sovereign, parents or other persons who carry some sort of secular authority.
The four devils are the hindrance of:
1. The five components (on-ma), that is, those hindrances caused by one's physical and mental functions.
2. Earthly desires (bonno-ma), or illusions arising from the three poisons.
3. Death (shima), because the fear and suffering that death entails, whether our own or someone else's can shake our faith and obstruct our practice of Buddhism, especially if death seems untimely.
4. The Devil of the Sixth Heaven (tenji-ma). This is regarded as the most serious hindrance; in Indian cosmology this king of devils represents the fundamental darkness inherent in life itself. This can assume any number of forms to obstruct believers and is often said to take the form of persecution by those in power. It is the most powerful of all the negative forces, and takes the form most likely to trouble us or cause us to suffer from doubt or illusion.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Jogging Breathing Story...
It has been 2 weeks since i haven't been jogging.... due to non-stop sickness one after another, coughed for so long. Finally after recovery, i pushed myself once again on monday morning. I planned to go farther this time as i have more time because i was on leave tat day. I woke up at 5.40am and started out at about 10mins right after washup... i looked out of the window and was surprised by the sight of the thick dew or smoky thing i don know wht it's called ... it was so thick I thought it was haze. At one thought I was afraid I will be breathing the smoky haze instead of a fresh morning healthy dew... But i decided to JUST go for it!
I guess that wasn't the unhealthy hazse afterall because there were many others on the road jogging too. As usual, i went rounds at the Punggol Close - the plain lands facing my flats. I tried hard to go round and round... had to push myself always to go one more round, another round, again and again. SOon after 5 rounds, i finally gave up. I continued to jog down Punggol Field, reaching the TPE, and cross over to Sengkang. Continue to go straight and find my way to sengkang east way. Din get lost anyway, continue to jog, some ups and downs, but still managed to continue without stopping... all the way to Upper serangoon road, i turn left to go back to where i stay. But i was almost giving up already lor.... true enough, as i came to the TPE flyover before i reach Punggol East, i stopped jogging. My arms were sore and numbed.... first time.... i took out my phone and look at my walkmate... it was merely 6.5km.... sians again lor.... why always run so far and it's still only so short distance i went hahahaa..... and up at the bridge i look down at the busy TPE, it was almost an hour since i started jogging. The sun was almost up and the dew was still thick. i took a panoramic picture for us to see... and here it was.... - far right is where i stay (Sundial).... so small hahahaa... but from where i was standing, it was only less than 500m to home lor...
Standing on top of the bridge here, breathing was great! As i jog towards the bridge, the super peaceful ears earlier on was slowly covered with noise from the highway TPE down there.... Cars and buses started getting their day by and zoom past. It was first time i realise wht expressways smells like! I guess because it was still early, tires of all vehicles just started and guess what? I smell hot burning tires!... the burning of hot wheels of vehicles that zoom past me!... and i believe most of the burning smell must have came from the highway down there since the traffic beside me up here is still clear.
So that was how feeling was like jogging early in the morning, from quiet to noisy, from dark to sun rise, from clear air to smoky burnt smell. But when can i every finish my 10km to be ready for the 10km marathon?? How do i dare to try the 42km in a year or 2? No idea at all whether i can or cannot make it! hahaha
Another scenario i saw as i was jogging past a residential area in Sengkang was i saw a maid washing car when the sky was still dark... prob 6.30am... i vividly remembered it was a grey MPV she was washing. Well, washing car can be said one of common tasks for maids in singapore nowadays, ya i know... but what surprised me was when i tried to take a longer look, there was a woman sitting in the car!obviously that was the owner, she had thick curly short hair and quite "muscular" in size. She was pin-pointing to the maid, most likely instructing her what she should do and how she should be cleaning the car, then she waved at the maid to close the door for her and most likely she is inside blowing aircon to herself lor! GOODNESS!! It's such a mean thing to see early in the morning. Probably she is new and is learning from the owner, but if i m the owner, definitely i will not be as bad and mean as to be sitting inside blowing aircon at me and shaking legs lor... and if i m the maid, i would be deep-hating the owner sitting inside blowing aircon watching over wht i m doing lor!!! Although there are so many possibilities to why she should be sitting inside the car, but i don feel good personally tt she should be inside the car while the maid was working hard for her! Sometimes, i wonder is it the life of a maid is really damn tough till they got to withstand such mean bosses and be made use of in this manner, OR is it just their retribution and should be treated this way?? And as i wonder, i relaly think if i have a maid, i will most likely be bullied by the maid, get tricked by her or let her run over my head without realising it, because i m not the type who dare to ill-treat them this way OR willing to be fierce to them lor... so...? no maids for me better la... cannot make it hahaha...
I guess that wasn't the unhealthy hazse afterall because there were many others on the road jogging too. As usual, i went rounds at the Punggol Close - the plain lands facing my flats. I tried hard to go round and round... had to push myself always to go one more round, another round, again and again. SOon after 5 rounds, i finally gave up. I continued to jog down Punggol Field, reaching the TPE, and cross over to Sengkang. Continue to go straight and find my way to sengkang east way. Din get lost anyway, continue to jog, some ups and downs, but still managed to continue without stopping... all the way to Upper serangoon road, i turn left to go back to where i stay. But i was almost giving up already lor.... true enough, as i came to the TPE flyover before i reach Punggol East, i stopped jogging. My arms were sore and numbed.... first time.... i took out my phone and look at my walkmate... it was merely 6.5km.... sians again lor.... why always run so far and it's still only so short distance i went hahahaa..... and up at the bridge i look down at the busy TPE, it was almost an hour since i started jogging. The sun was almost up and the dew was still thick. i took a panoramic picture for us to see... and here it was.... - far right is where i stay (Sundial).... so small hahahaa... but from where i was standing, it was only less than 500m to home lor...
Standing on top of the bridge here, breathing was great! As i jog towards the bridge, the super peaceful ears earlier on was slowly covered with noise from the highway TPE down there.... Cars and buses started getting their day by and zoom past. It was first time i realise wht expressways smells like! I guess because it was still early, tires of all vehicles just started and guess what? I smell hot burning tires!... the burning of hot wheels of vehicles that zoom past me!... and i believe most of the burning smell must have came from the highway down there since the traffic beside me up here is still clear.
So that was how feeling was like jogging early in the morning, from quiet to noisy, from dark to sun rise, from clear air to smoky burnt smell. But when can i every finish my 10km to be ready for the 10km marathon?? How do i dare to try the 42km in a year or 2? No idea at all whether i can or cannot make it! hahaha
Another scenario i saw as i was jogging past a residential area in Sengkang was i saw a maid washing car when the sky was still dark... prob 6.30am... i vividly remembered it was a grey MPV she was washing. Well, washing car can be said one of common tasks for maids in singapore nowadays, ya i know... but what surprised me was when i tried to take a longer look, there was a woman sitting in the car!obviously that was the owner, she had thick curly short hair and quite "muscular" in size. She was pin-pointing to the maid, most likely instructing her what she should do and how she should be cleaning the car, then she waved at the maid to close the door for her and most likely she is inside blowing aircon to herself lor! GOODNESS!! It's such a mean thing to see early in the morning. Probably she is new and is learning from the owner, but if i m the owner, definitely i will not be as bad and mean as to be sitting inside blowing aircon at me and shaking legs lor... and if i m the maid, i would be deep-hating the owner sitting inside blowing aircon watching over wht i m doing lor!!! Although there are so many possibilities to why she should be sitting inside the car, but i don feel good personally tt she should be inside the car while the maid was working hard for her! Sometimes, i wonder is it the life of a maid is really damn tough till they got to withstand such mean bosses and be made use of in this manner, OR is it just their retribution and should be treated this way?? And as i wonder, i relaly think if i have a maid, i will most likely be bullied by the maid, get tricked by her or let her run over my head without realising it, because i m not the type who dare to ill-treat them this way OR willing to be fierce to them lor... so...? no maids for me better la... cannot make it hahaha...
Monday, October 12, 2009
What's my life about?
My life is about saving up to upgrade handphone, looking at better phone models to suit my interest and lifestyle; driving effectively and looking ahead at what my desired sports car would be and working hard to own it one day in the future; playing music from my ears to the piano, can't live without music and singing... exploring from ears to my piano as a hobby and challenge; creating things that people around me will smile when they receive it, including drawing, pressies, design or arts and planning surprises; boosting morale of people i treasure and care about by encouraging them with my perspective of life; make people laugh with my contagious laughter and making them shine and happy; and be unique in my personality and shine among others.....
My life is also about seeing the world in my holiday list, and aiming to achieve it one day in the future also.... backpacking... bring my dear to places that he will say "wow" and feel being loved by me, give him the luxury moment of life in our holiday future....
About the kids would be to provide them with maximum ability i can give, so that they see life in the right perspective and be independent and unique when they grow up.
My life is also about seeing the world in my holiday list, and aiming to achieve it one day in the future also.... backpacking... bring my dear to places that he will say "wow" and feel being loved by me, give him the luxury moment of life in our holiday future....
About the kids would be to provide them with maximum ability i can give, so that they see life in the right perspective and be independent and unique when they grow up.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Dreaming of My Dream...
Have been dreaming of my dream car lately... i wish to own this soon... if not in 5yrs time, at least 10yrs time yeah... i remember there was this book which says "Law of attraction" so i learned to keep thinking of my objective(s) like "this", hoping that it will come true. When you keep thinking about it, the law of attraction will bring ur life towards it. Thus i've been thinking about it for quite some time... since i read that book!!... After knowing that the road tax and insurance is within the acceptable range, i thought about it EVEN MORE.
To me, it's feminine, handsome, mysterious, bold, it just shows my strong personality hahahaa... i guess i m very obsessed with it now, i kept imagining driving in it to work and with friends and family.
Yes, it's quite tight in the interiors, but i believe sports car are jus like that - it fits u in the seat nicely, not much freedom of space for safety and comfort... i just like that lor.... and must be manual gear... as i love to play with gears while driving, and it feels more like driving when i control it manually... i jus miss driving manual gears... haiii...
Another dream car which i din think i might have or own, is Lexus RX300/350...
It is such a luxury, i thought... high view, super luxurious, comfort, classy, and spacious for myself and my family. But to think of the cost is really impossible lor... so think think oni la... see see only la... definitely not within 10yrs unless i strike lottery! hahaha... becos the maintenance cost is scary! and i do not want to pay for high road taxes and insurances, so not for purchase now haha... only for envy hahaha! But for a family car, i would choose this! and for a dream, practical and personalised car, i want my Mazda RX8!!! heeheehee can't imagine if i receive this one day as a present...
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