reflections...29 April 2009

Baby Eliza is two and half months old now... i m ending my maternity leave at the end of May. one more month to go. We had appeal for dear's mother's long term visit pass and it was unsuccessful. We had to make a decision fast. Is my mother going to quit from work? OR... we appeal and appeal and again and again until approved??

Dear is very upset about the unsuccessful application. He felt angry and lost. His wish for his mother to be here to look after our baby is gone. Our plan failed.

At the beginning, before i gave birth, i was already at the mood of "decided" and "ok". i finally convinced myself to accept the fact and broadened my mind to welcome his mother to stay with us, to look after our baby Eliza. I did not think much about the long term pass appication. It was such simple me that i did not think that she needed something like that. And so i din give much thought to the visit pass.

Now that i heard difficult applications around us, years and years of appeal going on and on for other people out there. I was thinking, please, who are we, why should our application be approved. We can be considered "well-to-do" as the previous one officer mentioned to us that we could jolly well get a maid since the pass is not approved. We can't say no becos is too subjective. We din want not becos we cannot afford, becos we din like it! Wat can this reason be acceptable isn't it? So, please, i wanted to tell dear to face the fact. My mother's going to take the task, quit her job and be our baby Eliza's babysitter!

Suddenly, all's changed. We got everything changed because his mother was coming to stay with us. We got our lives adjusted to accomodate her presence. Even financially, i thought i was going "shiok"!! cos i don need to pay for anything for a babysitter! hahah.... well.... but suddenly, all these changed overnight. After we got our second letter of unsuccessful application, i quickly made a decision. I guess it's time my mum quit her job. It sounds to my hubby that i am instead more happier than his mum coming on receiving such a letter. It sounds like i hope she can't make it here. Well... but i wonder does he know that this plan B instead result me having to fork out even so much more savings for mum and dad? Initial's more savings has become a big hole in my pocket every month from now.

I know i can't sound very happy and glad, cos that will definitely let him think i wished for! I wish this final plan is final. I guess i can now rest my worries for baby Eliza is with MY mother, in my mum's expert hands. Although there are further adjustments to our lives and lifestyle again, but i guess after a year from now or less, hopefully we can gradually get back to our not-so-kanjiong lifestyle again, meaning the rushing on and off from work, facing cranky baby and the visits and checks to clinics and vaccinations, picking up solids.... all the different phase of the growth of Eliza that will be coming our way, again, like what we've been through before... for kdenn....

Now that i have to give my most to my parents, i guess i will have more stories to tell, less time for shopping, no affordability to shop anyway, less thought for wishes and pressies, less urge for shopping and dining, will only think of working hard, harder, chant more for a better work environment, improving work scope, enjoy my work, live the busy life of busy mummy!! Hope i can be proud and happy mum, have memories to look back after several years from now... by then i shall gradually pick up my pamper and luxury again :)